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Telephone Matrix

When you just keep calling and calling and they never pick up

Telephone Matrix Shelly Still

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The Great iPhone Switch Off 2017

14th January 2017

I have the attention span of a gerbil on cocaine. I look back and remember misty days when I could get lost in a song, read for hours, paint and design into the night… (I believe it was around 2003) Then, I’m pretty sure smartphones came along and I’ve had one attached to my clawed hand ever since. After years of toying with the idea of switching the iPhone off and relying on the most basic phone in the world (a Nokia brick) I decide to buy the cheapest I can find (with Tesco vouchers £6.50!), a New Scientist magazine and Galaxy eggs. LET THE EXPERIMENT BEGIN!

It’s Saturday, 2pm.

iPhone doesn’t like you to take anything away from it. I’ve spent half an hour manually adding peoples numbers to the Brick, I would say 25% of the numbers I have on the iphone are people I don’t remember and 50% are of people I haven’t physically seen in over three years. I now have twelve numbers.

Before I switch off the glowing rectangle of distraction I take a photo of the Brick with it and add it to facebook telling everyone what I’m going to do. Cause obviously they all give a shit and ride on my every word. Someone says to write a blog about it. I told her that would defy the point!…

Start reading New Scientist about 3pm. Pretty much after EVERY article I get the urge to look at the phone, wondering how many people have ‘liked’ my facebook Brick status. Looking at the Bricks little pixel screen doesn’t seem to give me the sweet nugget my rat brain craves so decide to do the washing up, the hoovering and cook dinner two hours early.

9pm. I’ve totally lost track of time. Figured it was only 7pm so I’m out by hours. I’ve only been without the iPhone for seven of them. I start to play Snake on the Brick. It’s not as fun as it was in 2003.

Lying in bed I remember the kindle attaches to the internet. Facebook stabs its way into me like a fanged viper.

Start reading The Man Who Fell To Earth. I manage almost three chapters before checking facebook again.

Calls – 0. Texts – 4


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